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Today I just feel like...
Dec. 11th, 2008 01:13 pmI am losing my mind. I dunno why. Just feeling kind of frantic and depressed and worried and spazzed out.
Bleah.
Bleah.
You know what, actually? I'm feeling pretty good right about now. Still worried about family and kitty, but I think I've handled everything really damn well so far, and I should be proud of that. We got Shinji to the vet in 15 minutes with no hesitation or squabbling. We make a good team! My nephew is safe, and I helped as much as I could amidst a pet emergency. (that is not like an opera emergency) My tire was flat this morning, and I just fucking changed the thing and got on with life.
I think *that* is the problem I was experiencing last night. I was sitting there waiting for the melt-down and it didn't come, and I was disturbed by that. But guess what? I'm tough! I'm tough as fucking nails and still human and caring and good, and that is all that matters. I can handle this. I'd like it to cease, but honestly, I can DO it, so it's not the end of the world. AND better yet, I haven't overdone it and gone into HERO MODE, thereby wearing myself out and being useless when I'm really needed. I've still got some reserves and tricks up my sleeve, and I'm ready for action.
I am going to be ok. Possibly more than ok, because what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right?
Hang in there, everyone. It WILL get better.
I think *that* is the problem I was experiencing last night. I was sitting there waiting for the melt-down and it didn't come, and I was disturbed by that. But guess what? I'm tough! I'm tough as fucking nails and still human and caring and good, and that is all that matters. I can handle this. I'd like it to cease, but honestly, I can DO it, so it's not the end of the world. AND better yet, I haven't overdone it and gone into HERO MODE, thereby wearing myself out and being useless when I'm really needed. I've still got some reserves and tricks up my sleeve, and I'm ready for action.
I am going to be ok. Possibly more than ok, because what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right?
Hang in there, everyone. It WILL get better.
