Stoopid LJ

Jun. 8th, 2011 09:08 pm
magicelli: (Default)
LJ decided that it hates me and I can't see anything further back than 10 posts on my friends page, no matter what I do. WTF, LJ?

I changed the style, changed the layout, changed the amount of posts it's supposed to show, and even added /?skip=10 to the end of the url. When I do that, it shows me a blank page with the option to click on "previous 20". Poop.
magicelli: (Default)
This one is about a little medical concern/worry I'm having. Cut for those who don't like gory details. I mostly just want to lay this out somewhere so I can look it up if I forget a piece of it.

If if you are male and don't have like 12 sisters, read at your own risk )
magicelli: (Default)
Ok, so I broke my nose last night.

It's just a fracture, and it doesn't look at all bad.

But I want it to look bad! Because it hurts like HELL and I feel like if it at least looked as bad as it feels, people would not laugh at me. Not that people are laughing at me, because there's absolutely nothing funny about walking into a glass door, right? Wait...

But yeah, this is one of those times when I do wish that the injury looked worse because then I'd feel less silly. They gave me painkillers, but I can't take those and work, and tylenol doesn't seem to do a lick of good.

The thing that really really sucks is wearing my glasses - holy jebus does that hurt! I can get away without them for everything but driving, so that's what I'll be doing. Walking around blind and cranky and trying to remember to never ever scratch it.

It seems like I'm obsessing about this but that's only because I can't stop thinking about it because it never stops hurting!!!! Argh. I feel stupid for hurting myself but even stupider because I'm sure people are going to think I'm being a big baby.
magicelli: (Default)
I'm a coppycatter. I coppycatted [ profile] mahdi and I don't care.

Good Day: Payday

Bad Day: Black Widow in the HOUSE

Good Day: Another call about a job

Bad Day: Kitty needs to go to vet

Good Day: GAME NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
magicelli: (Default)
1. It doesn't take a lot of material
2. The doll will never complain if the clothes are ugly
3. You don't have to worry about them being uncomfortable
4. The doll won't grow up and look at pictures of itself and hate you
5. The doll doesn't need proper cover-up
6. The doll won't grow out of the clothes in 15 minutes
7. The doll is unlikely to soil its clothes
8. You don't have to worry if its outfits are warm/cool enough for the weather
9. So what if the pants are too short or the skirt is too long
10. Adding lace over a mistake DOES make it look better!

There are a few drawbacks, mostly that it's harder to find patterns and the small corners are FREAKING SMALL. That being said, I'm making a bunch of doll clothes for Tegan's doll for Christmas, and the first attempt came out pretty damn awesome. The above list is what was going on in my head while I worked.
magicelli: (Default)
Tegan: In my class, we have "fuhquackmoo!"

Me: You have what?

Tegan: fuhquackmoo!

Me: Fun Quack Moo?

Tegan: No, fuhquackmoo!

Me: Fa Quack Moo?

Tegan: No, FUCK.

And that's when I choked on my sandwich.

It turns out it's called, "Thump, Quack, Moo" but it was about the funniest damn thing I've ever seen. She was so clear and serious. And adamant! She is still adamant that is what it's called and spent the better part of this evening wandering around at Michael's back to school night muttering it under her breath.

Out of the mouths of babes.
magicelli: (Default)
I now have this.

It's not that big a deal, just annoying.


Aug. 5th, 2010 10:42 am
magicelli: (Default)
I've said it all over my Facebook by now, but I really feel the need to talk a little more in depth about my feelings on the Prop 8 ruling that finally came about yesterday.

I could not be more impressed with Judge Walker's words. Anyone who hasn't been following along is missing out on a serious chunk of history in the making. Freedom and equality are truly on the horizon now, in a much more tangible sense than ever.

I know that some of you have doubted the seriousness and gravity of this cause, and I recognize that there are other important causes out there which deserve attention. But if you think that no one is being hurt by the bigotry and fear that is still felt by a frightening majority of people in our society, you need to open your eyes. An injustice, however small, is still an injustice. A directed, intended, and deliberately planned injustice, no matter its net impact on people, is harmful and sets an alarming precedent.

The pro-8 side is yelling from the hilltops about the 'will of the people' being overruled by a single judge, as we knew they would. The important thing they are forgetting is that the judge is not a tyrant or a bleeding heart, he is doing his job, and he's doing it well. He used his incredible knowledge of law to determine that Prop 8 is actually unlawful.

I wish that were it - I wish his beautifully written and well thought out words could be the end of this argument. I wish that those who still refuse to listen, those who will read his statements with hate and fear in their hearts would accept that perhaps they should embrace the future and focus on their own lives, but I know better.

So all we can do now is hope that the 9th circuit, and then the US Supreme Court, will conduct themselves with as much thought and consideration as Walker when the case is brought before them. When that is done, perhaps I will turn my attention to starving children or poverty - or maybe something else that's equally controversial. Truthfully, I tend to chose the fight I feel I am best equipped to assist with. I hope that my part in this, however small, has at least provided some clarity and comfort to some.


Jun. 28th, 2010 01:04 pm
magicelli: (Default)
I've been thinking about a way to quantify the experience I got when I wasn't going to college, so that I can put it on my resume to give it that something 'extra'.

Here's what I have now, I'd like thoughts on it...


Dot Com University 1996-2001
Began career in the fast growing, swiftly expanding dot com industry. Was exposed to a vast amount of business knowledge and varied corporate cultures, assisted in expansion and trend-setting of start-up companies and participated in shaping the computer industry as it is today.

It's my first crack at a concept that I'm not even sure I'll go through with, but if I were going to be ballsy, this is how I'd go about it.

magicelli: (snarf)
I started sewing a little bit about 4 years ago. I got a sewing machine, which I was terrified of. Then [ profile] barelyproper helped me make a costume for Michael for Ren Faire and I got a little better. I didn't really start diving into it until about 4 months ago, though. I made some things here and there for Tegan, at first, then I made myself a skirt and it just sort of clicked. About a month ago I made myself a very basic bodice without boning from a pattern that [ profile] barelyproper made for me. A couple weekends ago I helped [ profile] queencrckt make a costume for her kiddo, then I started in earnest on my own Ren Faire costume and it's coming along gorgeously. Yes, I got some help from Janice, but I cut it out myself and every single stitch has been by my hand and sewing machine.

People are starting to ask me for tips and help with sewing and costuming and I am starting to feel like a person who sews.

The thing is, I've been dabbling in crafts my entire life. I have crocheted, knitted, done clay, you name it, I have probably dabbled at least a little bit. I was always 'sufficiently ok' at all of them, but never really satisfied with the results or the effort vs. results.

But now I know that sewing is me. Sewing is my thing.

Who knew?

Take that

Jun. 20th, 2010 12:01 am
magicelli: (boom)
Consciously, I no longer think of myself as a person who is constantly teased. I no longer think of myself as a social reject, the ugly kid who no one will talk to except to make fun of. But I think the battle to stop being so terrified I would get squashed if I opened my mouth, such a fierce battle that I eventually was unable to speak without creating more problems for myself, changed who I was on such a fundamental level that I will never truly overcome it.

I know I make it sound incredibly dramatic. I don't even know if the outcome of being treated that way is wholly bad, so don't think I'm whining.

I can address a group now without squeaking, without my words twisting nervously out of my mouth to form statements which make little sense and hurt other people without meaning to. I can make new friends, I can even make a good first impression, now.

That was the first fight. I won that one. The second one was to move beyond the constant need for outside approval. You can't effectively love yourself if you don't believe that anyone else does unless you're arrogant to the point of narcissism. So for the longest time, I had to fight to find even a scrap of self-worth to cling to. Slowly, over the years, I was able to find that scrap and groom it and nurture it into a real self-affirming force. I won that fight, too.

There were a couple more down the road after that. Paranoia that everyone secretly hated me. Constantly hearing slights and jabs where there were none. Just feeling comfortable with my self in a room.

Then the next big one - letting go of my anger and the bitter hurt so that I could actually become a nice person. Forcing myself to think of others, now that they were good guys again, to take into consideration how they felt, what they needed, and what I could do to make their lives easier. I'm probably going to be working on that one for the rest of my life, but I've made a serious dent in it.

But there's one left, one gruesome and nasty scar, most of the time dormant and buried, but it sticks out a little bit from time to time and more occasionally rears its ugly head in a devastating way.

The feeling like I wasted half my life getting what most people seemed to either be born with, or seemed to have achieved by the end of high school. The feeling of being behind. Of being a social late bloomer.

I know that a lot of people went through the same thing. A lot of people are in the same place as I am. I'm not trying to prove that I'm better or worse off than anyone else. But sometimes, I just wonder how things might have been different for me if I'd gotten a chance to be this person when I was much younger. A studious person in the days of school. A reliable person in the early years of my career. A confident person when I still had the chance to do anything I wanted. Sing opera. March in drum corps. Act on the stage. A nice person when I still turned heads.

I know I'm not old, or boring, or washed up, or ugly. I know that I'm still alive and vibrant and interesting. I have everything I ever wanted out of life, on a fundamental level, aside from the part where I'm currently between jobs. A house, a husband, a great kid, some annoying cats, a fantastic group of friends, a good relationship with my family, a choir which is practically like family. I'm not regretting a damn thing, and I am sure that if I'd gotten this confidence and this humility and this kindness when I was younger, I wouldn't be the person that I was today.

But some days I just react to life like a person who was screwed out of something. Like a person who got the shaft. I overcame the shaft, but I sometimes feel like I got it all the same.

Well, I say to you, feelings of shaftedness, you are full of SHIT. You are invalid. You are STUPID. I renounce you. Go the fuck away already, I don't want you hanging around here. Because all you do is make me maudlin and jealous and pouty and that's not a good look for me.

Usually I get control of that crap pretty quick. I think being jobless is making it harder to shake. Either way, I've done everything I can recently to nip it in the bud and it won't shut up. So that's where I am right now. I'm feeling resentful and a bit angry, and that probably means that I am an entitled jerk-face and should just be grateful for everything that I have.

And I AM! I'm grateful that I have the ability to write really really fast and put all this out in the world so I can annoy the crap out of anyone who may of actually made it to the bottom of this mess, which completely fell apart after about paragraph 7.

You're all practically screaming at me to get to the point now, aren't you? I had you at 'incredibly dramatic' and lost you at shaftedness, admit it.

There. I made myself laugh. See? It's not so hard. There's tons of people out there who were never teased on the playground who probably can't even make themselves laugh. I win.

Do you hear that, you non-sharing, red-rubber-ball-flinging, cross-eyeded-comment-making, nerd-calling, weird-hating normal people!?




Jun. 8th, 2010 12:49 am
magicelli: (Prizner)
Raise your hand if you're reading this and you're not on facebook.

Also raise your hand if you're more likely to actually see something here than you would on facebook.

Also, raise your hand if you think I should go to bed instead of asking random questions on LJ at 1 am.

Wait, now how will I tell who is raising their hand about what?
magicelli: (Default)
I guess I might be depressed or something. One of my first signs is that I stop communicating with people. If you are people, you know what I'm talking about. Sorry about that. I think the funk I'm in has officially reached a place that's not good. I need a job. I need a purpose. I need to be less useless.

I'm pretty sure that it's not good for my general state of mind to be caged indoors all the time, either. That's probably a large part of it. No vitamin D, because I'm a vampire now. No, I can't even really go out at night. 10 minutes in the sun air, and I am a sneezing mess of doom.

I miss the big blue room. I miss feeling like a useful member of society, too.

Bedtime, for sure. Hopefully things will look better tomorrow when the sun is up. And I can't go out in it.



Apr. 15th, 2010 10:18 am
magicelli: (Default)
Full of rage. Not so much because of but because of the lovely findings I had in trying to find ANY study that successfully links homosexuality with pedophilia. This page and stuff like it just makes my blood boil. You'll notice that his footnotes 9 and 12, which are supposed to prove the no one has ever found any physical evidence that homosexuality is genetic, (if you can read the tiny tiny font on the footnotes) cite studies from the 1980's. What a bunch of bollocks. GRRRRRR!!!!


Apr. 12th, 2010 11:33 am
magicelli: (Default)
Dear Jim Butcher,

You're a son of a bitch and you know it.

Lots of completely un-sarcastic love,


P.S. I'm positive that if you were to actually read this, it would be with a certain amount of satisfaction.


Mar. 17th, 2010 03:07 pm
magicelli: (Default)
I hate how I am ok/mediocre at everything and not REALLY F-ing good at anything. It makes me feel like a loser.
magicelli: (Default)
I'm sure most of you have heard about this thing that happened.

I just have one thing to say about it - Mississippi has a piss poor track record on these issues. They were THE LAST state to ratify the 19th amendment (it failed in 1920 and then was finally gotten around to in 1984!) and they were one of the states that waited until Loving v. Virginia forced them to overturn the anti-miscegenation laws.

I'm not surprised, I guess they haven't changed in the last century.


Mar. 11th, 2010 01:53 pm
magicelli: (Default)
This isn't the funniest site ever, but here's my three entry digest for the first few pages that I read:

1. I bet the first person to milk a cow got so much shit

2. Since they always call the president Mr. President, if he had a PhD in something would he have to be called Dr. President? Dr. President... How badass can one person be?

3. If you mixed butter and "I cant believe its not butter" do you get "I can sort of believe that some of this isnt butter"?
magicelli: (Default)
To do...


finish digging garden
construct garden frame
put dirt in
plant stuff

General yard:

Clean up
wash patio and outside of house
trim plants and mow grass

things to paint:

1 square wooden table
2 wooden chairs
1 kids bench
1 potting bench
the shed (optional?)

Also - put up shelves and colorful pots on the outside of the shed. If this looks good enough, painting the whole shed might not be that important.

Seems like a lot to do!!!!

And now, take cat to vet. Hasta!
magicelli: (Default)
Not sure, but this elusive creature has puzzled scientists across the world. Is she real? Does she actually exist?

Well, ok, yes. I do exist. But in what form? Am I a mist, or a jelly? Or perhaps, made of meat? Ok, yeah, I'm made of meat.

But, on a deeper level, what is the general purpose of an Elli? Does she think, therefore she is? Does she exist for the purpose of the betterment of all mankind? Or is she kind of a shallow whiner?

The world may never know.


Er, which is to say, it's time for bed, bitches.

June 2011

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